2017 - My Year from Hell Part 2 - My Babies. My Children. My Cats.

EXIDE

My Big Boy. My Sylvester. My Exide. He had all those names.

Yes these 2 were everything to me. I am not blessed to have children of my own but I had these two. 2017 was a banner year. I am so glad it's no longer with us. We are well past it. But it still lingers. 2017 was the year I had to put my cats down. Not a good year.

My Big Boy (Sylvester) was first. He had been having a challenge to his health for 3 years already so it was not a surprise that it was time. But that spring when that time came it hurt. I had him for over 18 years.He was just a little guy when I heard myself say to the little tykes at my door that asked for some food that if they didn't find anyone else I would take him. I closed the door and already knew I was getting a kitten and chastised myself. "YOU SAID WHAT?!" Ha. He was so cute and fit in my hands. 

He grew by leaps and bounds and was eventually 25lbs and as big as a medium sized dog. He sat like a dog as well. He had a best temperment. Nothing bothered him. He loved to be held and as long as I paid attention to him he didn't care what I did to him. I could clip his nails no problem. He loved to be brushed and purred so loudly that if I was on the phone the other person could hear it. 

Speaking of phones - when I had a land line (way before cell phones) if anyone called he was answer the phone. I swear. He would paw the phone off and then meow into the receiver. I just couldn't get him to take a message or hang it up again. When my father was in emergency with bladder stone the nurse called then wondered if he had given her the wrong number and said that something answered but not sure what. He then moaned and said that was her cat. The nurse had to keep trying to call me. Finally got through. 

But his health was not good the last couple of years and I didn't dare leave him. So I can say that I did not leave my house for longer than 16 hours at any given time. I was ALWAYS home to give him his medicine, food and water and love. I couldn't do anything else. He had always given me so much love how could I not be there for him. 

I often wondered if he was a human person who would he be? He was so not cat like but he had so many human qualities. Dang I loved that cat so much. Whew! It's getting a bit warm here.

JULES

My baby girl. My Jules. My Julien. So small but ruled like the Queen she was. She was linked to my Big Boy. She was all girl too. Since she was 1/3 of the size of my Big Boy she would lure my Boy to play. 

 They would get pretty rough and when he was finished he would just lay on top of her to quiet her down. She would scream like there was a blood-letting or something. He would be jolted and let her up and look at her as if saying "What Up". She would run about 2 feet away and then look back and say well are coming after me? Total Queen Diva. 

She hated being held and all actions were on her schedule not anyone else's. The only time I could love on her was when she was in heat. Then she was nice and lovable. I didn't fix her early on because she was an inside cat and my Boy was fixed. Then as she got older no vet would fix her. Or it was outrageously expensive. One of those decisions that you make regarding any animal. 

She was devastated when my Big Boy didn't come back after taking him to the vet that last time. She looked for him for days. Then she declined quite quickly. Within 4 months she was gone as well. 

 GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

 Though my babies are gone I have not forgotten them. They are always with me in my thoughts. I have never gotten this close to an animal before and wonder if I ever can be again.  In some ways it was a relief. I didn't have to give them their medicine everyday and watch them for signs that would lead to a vet visit. I could go and travel somewhere without feeling guilty or trying to find someone to watch them for me. But I also don't have anyone in my bed in the morning sleeping next to me. I can honestly say that I loved them more than anything. And all these years later still miss them.

2017 - The Year from Hell Part 1

2017 was my year from HELL. Yep I mean that. It was also my year that grew up the most. So it was a blessing and, yes, a curse.

CANCER!!!!! WHAT????

It started out with me dealing with a sonogram on my left breast to scan for a possible tumor. 

In late November of 2016 I went in for my biannual mammogram. I get a call that they saw something and wanted another mammogram. So I go back into the hospital (University of California at Davis Medical Center otherwise known as UC Davis) for a follow up thinking it wont be anything. Then I find out that what they found was just water filled milk duct. Nothing to write home or get worried about. But they want a sonogram to be sure. Okaaaaaaay. If you have too, I think. So I then have the sonogram. Well the original thing was nothing. Whew! But then they found something in my original something. Uh oh. Now they want a biopsy. Not in a rush as it was so small at 2mm. Fine. Get that scheduled for late January 2017. 

I forget about it totally. In the meantime my babies are sick since they are going to 17 years old it's not unexpected. 

I had not spent a night away from them in 2 years because my Big Boy needed his medicine each day. So it goes. I am working and moving along with my life. I periodically talk to my mother from time to time and that's really all there was to write home about. 

Now the biopsy comes along. I go in and it takes a couple of hours. The actual biopsy is about 10 minutes. The rest of the time is just getting ready and situated. I get poked a few times then I didn't feel anything at all. Just watched everyone opening up plastic stuff. Then it came time and they got what they needed. I get the results back in a few days and it was quite a bit of medical jargon. But it essentially was breast cancer. But at that time they called it DCIS. It had not spilled out to the surrounding tissue yet. It stayed in my milk duct. I was then set up with a surgical consult. Great. 

In the meantime I received a really impressive packet from UC Davis about what to expect and questions to ask and who I should take with me to appointments. I part that impressed me was the part where they will provide someone to go with you if you don't have anyone so they can an extra pair of ears and ask questions that you don't think to ask. In retrospect I should have done that. But being the independent person that I am and didn't want to inconvenience anyone I go by myself. Not one of my best decisions. Oh well. 

So I go by myself and the upshot was that we scheduled surgery for March 25th, 2017, since it was an in and out. I would be in surgery in the morning and out by noon. Whohoo. It was a Friday so I could recover over the weekend and wouldn't need all the following week off but could work 1/2 days on Thursday or Friday. I think to myself great. It will work out with month end and I could get all my work done.

The day comes and my friend Jo takes me to hospital. But I had to go to the Cancer Center first. It is a whole different building some distance from the main hospital. Since my tumor was so small they had to put wires in to point to the spot. I had no idea what this entailed. I would soon find out. DON'T EVER DO THIS! UC Davis is a teaching hospital. So you have to be okay with lots of young doctors doing the same things. Or in my case putting wires in my breast to point to the spot and it was her very first time. We can say Ouch! Basically I had to be smashed on the mammogram machine so they could find the spot and then in go the wires. This whole process took about 1/2 hour. Yes. I had to hold my breath repeatedly, hang onto the nurse's hand, wince, almost started to cry that whole time. It sucks! If you have to do this it's not worth it. Wait until it gets larger or dissolves on it's own. Seriously not worth it. 

From there was the only fun part. I was put in a wheelchair and an ambulance took me over to main hospital. I didn't have to figure out where to go first or anything. They just wheeled me to registration then up the per-surgical area. Got me in bed to wait for my surgery. That was really the fun part. I didn't have to do anything. 

I said that UC Davis is a teaching hospital. So I get my gown on and get my IV started. This is where every resident will come in and ask you your name, date of birth, and "What are we doing today?" Bear in mind that I am lying in bed with wires (yes real wires) sticking out of my left breast very plainly. And each time they ask me "What are we doing today?" I want to be so sarcastic and say what do you think? Don't you see these wires? Of which I obligingly say Left Lumpectomy. One cool thing though. I was cold and instead of getting heated blankets they put this lightweight paper thing with lot of air pockets and a heater at the end of the bed. It was really nice and warm. Loved that thing. There was a mix-up in the times and children had to go first. So I was there for about 3 hours before even getting the good drugs that says you're next. Yes I was hungry. Yes I was bored. Not a single nurse or doctor that checked on me was the same one twice. Residents mostly. Just like on TV some are really nice and some are just, well, less then chatty. 

Off to surgery I go. They ask me AGAIN ... Name, DOB, What are we doing today? I am pretty looped out by now and toyed with playing with them and making something up but I kept it straight. Then I woke up and I get the care instructions while I get dressed and off I go in the wheelchair for my friend Jo to pick me up. Where there were several others getting picked up so there was a line of cars. I had to wait my turn. In the rain. Yes. In the rain. I was thinking this was too funny. 

I had to go to the pharmacy to get some pain killers and they wanted me to come back as they were backed up. I am still in my surgery jacket. No I am not coming back. My friend Jo got them to fill it right away. Can you believe that?

I was just fine and went back to work on Tuesday for 6 hours. I will not do that again. I will take the whole week. Thank goodness my supervisor made me go home at noon each day that week. 

Fast forward to a month later and all was good. They got it all and it wasn't all that bad. But now comes some more craziness. I am referred to radiology for a consult. I go through everything with the resident and doctor and nurse in a very tiny room. The upshot was that it was up to me if I wanted radiation therapy or not. They refused to advise me one way or the other. WHAT?! I pressed them saying I am not educated on this subject and I need their recommendation. Nope they will not give it. It was totally up to me. By this time I have had it. So I chose not to engage their services and thank you but I am going home. If it comes up again then I will deal with it at that time. Seriously if you are not going to advise me then I am going home. And I left. 

FYI - I am glad I didn't but go through with it but 4 years later to the day I have been diagnosed with DCIS again in the same breast but in a different location. I still don't believe if I had had radiation therapy that it would have prevented this occurrence.

So this was the first big thing that happened in 2017. What a story hunh. But there is some really sad things to come in Part 2.