2017 - My year from Hell Part 3 - Refinancing my Home

 

 

That's my home. It's a townhome and the middle of a set of 6. Three stories of all mine. Ok and the bank's as well. I bought my home in August 5th, 2007. Just before the big crash when all lending stopped for homes. I was lucky to get in just under the stoppage and after the bubble burst so I didn't pay top dollar. It was brand spanking new. I was the first owner. All mine.

Now you have to understand that I had been a renter of apartments for over 30 years. I had dealt with old cheap carpet. White walls that you can't paint or you can but then you have to paint them back to white when you leave. Who wants to do that?! Ok I know a couple of folks have done that but not me. There is that thing where you have to cart your laundry and share the washer/dryer (and hopefully someone before you didn't wash colors that bleed before you) and later in renting career I was able to afford the apartments that had their own washer/dryer. But still. In my own home there is no dumpster. I get my own trashcan. Ahhhhh I was loving this "all mine" thing. 

 It was worth all the hassle to sign away my life in 2 inches of paperwork. The proverbial "sign here", "initial there", "initial that you signed here", "sign her that you initialed that".  That took an hour and I know how celebrities feel. Jeez. That whole process was VERY intimidating. I had a really good interest rate for 2007. It was 6.75%. Everyone else was at 7% or even 9%. So I thought dang I did good. 

Flash forward to 10 years later. Now everyone has either refinanced somewhere in the 3% or 4% range, or given their home back to the bank and moved one, or took the loss. I chose to stick it out. I had a job that was literally only 2 miles away and all my shopping was within that 2 miles. I had a unique home that I had waited all my life for. There wasn't any other place I wanted to move too. Why do anything. I was making my mortgage and all my other bills. I wasn't saving any money to my savings but I would later I thought. It then became painfully clear that I really needed to refinance. I had worked on my FICO score to get it to the 650 or higher. It was finally in a place that I could leverage it. I was so afraid of being taken because I had so many stories that was what kept me from doing it earlier. 

I contacted my mortgage company and it turned out to be quite a bit easier than I thought. I didn't negotiate (as I suck at negotiating) or anything. They offered 4.25% and that was 2.25% better than what I was paying. Oh heck yeah! I'll take it. I thought I would need all that same paperwork as before. But it was quite a bit easier. Just a couple of paycheck stubs, some bank statements etc. Scanned them in and sent them off. Now it was a waiting game. 

I forgot about the appraisal. Oh man. I have 10 years of junk and family members stuff in my house now. So goes the mad rush to clean up as best as I can. The appraiser was so nice. She explained the process and she took some pictures that took about 10 minutes. Whew! That wasn't near as bad as I thought it was going to be.

1 month later I was contacted to meet the notary to sign all the papers. That is what surprised me. The length of time it took to get it approved. So off I go to a Starbuck's and sign away my life again. Another round of "sign here", "initial there", "initial that you signed here", "sign her that you initialed that". And it was done. 

I was so sorry that I hadn't done it before. But that loan process was so intimidating. Now that I have gone through it I feel a lot more confident. But that is life. I was just so intimidated that I couldn't see past  the process. That is what took me so long to say to myself "just get it done". I do feel that whole thing help me in growing up a bit. I went through a rite of passage so to speak. And I did it all by myself. I was so proud of myself. Plus I saved over $500 a month on my mortgage. Who doesn't want that! Ha!

Our American Rights

OK I am not trying to be political here. But I get something off my chest. This by no means is new. I have seen numerous quotes, opinion pieces, not to mention just plain news about how out rights are being usurped by the current mandates designed to abate the transmission of the Coronavirus (COVID 19). 

I am just going to say it. I support any and all means to designed to inhibit the transmission and confine the those who have been exposed and possibly carrying COVID 19. 

There I said it. It is not ambiguous or confusing. I have a disclaimer though. In March of 2020 when we were all told to go home that the state of California was on lock down I totally disagreed with that move. I thought it was an overreaction to this flu. So it was the super flu. But anyone with a normal immune system, in my mind, meant most of us, could fight off this seasonal flu no problem. 

 I am here to say that I was totally WRONG. I have not been brainwashed by the democrats who are socialists in disguise. If that were true I be shocked to find out I am a socialist since I do identify as a democrat. 

But seriously, I was terribly wrong. I have known people who have had this disease. They ranged in age and in severity. I am grateful I have not contracted this disease. It was everywhere from hardly affecting family and work to nearly a death sentence and on the spectrum in between. 

The question really is requiring someone to get a vaccination is it a violation of our right to choose? A violation of our right to get a vaccination or not to get a vaccination. Yes, everyone has the right to make that choice - or do they? At what point is a requirement to come back to work only if you are vaccinated is an overreach?  I am not a learned council on constitution law or any other kind of law. But I can address this from my personal point of view. 

I believe in the right to make your own choices in life and how to live your own life. Freedom of choice is inbred in us Americans like we are to like Apple Pie. But too much of our rhetoric today is about what we are guaranteed by the Constitution and like our politics is all one sided. What happened to common decency? I believe that we lose our right to make choices when we endanger others by that choice. In this case when someone invokes their right to not get vaccinated and is therefore in a heightened chance of contracting and disseminating a proven lethal disease they are then no longer free to make that choice. They are making a decision for others by leaving themselves open to this disease and by interacting in some way with others without any protection they are taking the choice to be healthy from others. 

By not protecting themselves and being around others who may or may not have been vaccinated they are then saying they care less about their fellow man than they do about themselves. That is very selfish. I understand their may be misgivings on the safety of the vaccine for themselves both now in the future. I get that. But if you weigh what nearly every medical scientist has stated that it is generally safe and there are protocols in place if someone has an adverse reaction, and that person still says no to vaccination then that individual is short sighted and selfish. They by definition need to isolated so they cannot hurt others. 

We are a social group, we humans. We need each other for a variety of reasons. So you give up the luxury of making a choice when we interact with each other. There are certain requirements that necessitate the dismissal of certain rights. It's not something we can put on paper or legislate. This is a about, well, sportsmanship as they would say in the sporting world. It's about thinking of someone else before yourself. It's about feeling more for your fellow man/woman then you do for yourself. We Americans were at one time the epitome of that understanding. Where has that gone? Are we so individualistic that we can't come together for a common societal good? I still believe that we can do this. I believe we just need to be reminded of what sacrifice is and what it looks like. There are a great many folks out there that have done exactly this. Made a sacrifice. Some have made the ultimate sacrifice. I ask you, the reader, to ask yourself where are you on that continuum?

 

2017 - My Year from Hell Part 2 - My Babies. My Children. My Cats.

EXIDE

My Big Boy. My Sylvester. My Exide. He had all those names.

Yes these 2 were everything to me. I am not blessed to have children of my own but I had these two. 2017 was a banner year. I am so glad it's no longer with us. We are well past it. But it still lingers. 2017 was the year I had to put my cats down. Not a good year.

My Big Boy (Sylvester) was first. He had been having a challenge to his health for 3 years already so it was not a surprise that it was time. But that spring when that time came it hurt. I had him for over 18 years.He was just a little guy when I heard myself say to the little tykes at my door that asked for some food that if they didn't find anyone else I would take him. I closed the door and already knew I was getting a kitten and chastised myself. "YOU SAID WHAT?!" Ha. He was so cute and fit in my hands. 

He grew by leaps and bounds and was eventually 25lbs and as big as a medium sized dog. He sat like a dog as well. He had a best temperment. Nothing bothered him. He loved to be held and as long as I paid attention to him he didn't care what I did to him. I could clip his nails no problem. He loved to be brushed and purred so loudly that if I was on the phone the other person could hear it. 

Speaking of phones - when I had a land line (way before cell phones) if anyone called he was answer the phone. I swear. He would paw the phone off and then meow into the receiver. I just couldn't get him to take a message or hang it up again. When my father was in emergency with bladder stone the nurse called then wondered if he had given her the wrong number and said that something answered but not sure what. He then moaned and said that was her cat. The nurse had to keep trying to call me. Finally got through. 

But his health was not good the last couple of years and I didn't dare leave him. So I can say that I did not leave my house for longer than 16 hours at any given time. I was ALWAYS home to give him his medicine, food and water and love. I couldn't do anything else. He had always given me so much love how could I not be there for him. 

I often wondered if he was a human person who would he be? He was so not cat like but he had so many human qualities. Dang I loved that cat so much. Whew! It's getting a bit warm here.

JULES

My baby girl. My Jules. My Julien. So small but ruled like the Queen she was. She was linked to my Big Boy. She was all girl too. Since she was 1/3 of the size of my Big Boy she would lure my Boy to play. 

 They would get pretty rough and when he was finished he would just lay on top of her to quiet her down. She would scream like there was a blood-letting or something. He would be jolted and let her up and look at her as if saying "What Up". She would run about 2 feet away and then look back and say well are coming after me? Total Queen Diva. 

She hated being held and all actions were on her schedule not anyone else's. The only time I could love on her was when she was in heat. Then she was nice and lovable. I didn't fix her early on because she was an inside cat and my Boy was fixed. Then as she got older no vet would fix her. Or it was outrageously expensive. One of those decisions that you make regarding any animal. 

She was devastated when my Big Boy didn't come back after taking him to the vet that last time. She looked for him for days. Then she declined quite quickly. Within 4 months she was gone as well. 

 GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

 Though my babies are gone I have not forgotten them. They are always with me in my thoughts. I have never gotten this close to an animal before and wonder if I ever can be again.  In some ways it was a relief. I didn't have to give them their medicine everyday and watch them for signs that would lead to a vet visit. I could go and travel somewhere without feeling guilty or trying to find someone to watch them for me. But I also don't have anyone in my bed in the morning sleeping next to me. I can honestly say that I loved them more than anything. And all these years later still miss them.

2017 - The Year from Hell Part 1

2017 was my year from HELL. Yep I mean that. It was also my year that grew up the most. So it was a blessing and, yes, a curse.

CANCER!!!!! WHAT????

It started out with me dealing with a sonogram on my left breast to scan for a possible tumor. 

In late November of 2016 I went in for my biannual mammogram. I get a call that they saw something and wanted another mammogram. So I go back into the hospital (University of California at Davis Medical Center otherwise known as UC Davis) for a follow up thinking it wont be anything. Then I find out that what they found was just water filled milk duct. Nothing to write home or get worried about. But they want a sonogram to be sure. Okaaaaaaay. If you have too, I think. So I then have the sonogram. Well the original thing was nothing. Whew! But then they found something in my original something. Uh oh. Now they want a biopsy. Not in a rush as it was so small at 2mm. Fine. Get that scheduled for late January 2017. 

I forget about it totally. In the meantime my babies are sick since they are going to 17 years old it's not unexpected. 

I had not spent a night away from them in 2 years because my Big Boy needed his medicine each day. So it goes. I am working and moving along with my life. I periodically talk to my mother from time to time and that's really all there was to write home about. 

Now the biopsy comes along. I go in and it takes a couple of hours. The actual biopsy is about 10 minutes. The rest of the time is just getting ready and situated. I get poked a few times then I didn't feel anything at all. Just watched everyone opening up plastic stuff. Then it came time and they got what they needed. I get the results back in a few days and it was quite a bit of medical jargon. But it essentially was breast cancer. But at that time they called it DCIS. It had not spilled out to the surrounding tissue yet. It stayed in my milk duct. I was then set up with a surgical consult. Great. 

In the meantime I received a really impressive packet from UC Davis about what to expect and questions to ask and who I should take with me to appointments. I part that impressed me was the part where they will provide someone to go with you if you don't have anyone so they can an extra pair of ears and ask questions that you don't think to ask. In retrospect I should have done that. But being the independent person that I am and didn't want to inconvenience anyone I go by myself. Not one of my best decisions. Oh well. 

So I go by myself and the upshot was that we scheduled surgery for March 25th, 2017, since it was an in and out. I would be in surgery in the morning and out by noon. Whohoo. It was a Friday so I could recover over the weekend and wouldn't need all the following week off but could work 1/2 days on Thursday or Friday. I think to myself great. It will work out with month end and I could get all my work done.

The day comes and my friend Jo takes me to hospital. But I had to go to the Cancer Center first. It is a whole different building some distance from the main hospital. Since my tumor was so small they had to put wires in to point to the spot. I had no idea what this entailed. I would soon find out. DON'T EVER DO THIS! UC Davis is a teaching hospital. So you have to be okay with lots of young doctors doing the same things. Or in my case putting wires in my breast to point to the spot and it was her very first time. We can say Ouch! Basically I had to be smashed on the mammogram machine so they could find the spot and then in go the wires. This whole process took about 1/2 hour. Yes. I had to hold my breath repeatedly, hang onto the nurse's hand, wince, almost started to cry that whole time. It sucks! If you have to do this it's not worth it. Wait until it gets larger or dissolves on it's own. Seriously not worth it. 

From there was the only fun part. I was put in a wheelchair and an ambulance took me over to main hospital. I didn't have to figure out where to go first or anything. They just wheeled me to registration then up the per-surgical area. Got me in bed to wait for my surgery. That was really the fun part. I didn't have to do anything. 

I said that UC Davis is a teaching hospital. So I get my gown on and get my IV started. This is where every resident will come in and ask you your name, date of birth, and "What are we doing today?" Bear in mind that I am lying in bed with wires (yes real wires) sticking out of my left breast very plainly. And each time they ask me "What are we doing today?" I want to be so sarcastic and say what do you think? Don't you see these wires? Of which I obligingly say Left Lumpectomy. One cool thing though. I was cold and instead of getting heated blankets they put this lightweight paper thing with lot of air pockets and a heater at the end of the bed. It was really nice and warm. Loved that thing. There was a mix-up in the times and children had to go first. So I was there for about 3 hours before even getting the good drugs that says you're next. Yes I was hungry. Yes I was bored. Not a single nurse or doctor that checked on me was the same one twice. Residents mostly. Just like on TV some are really nice and some are just, well, less then chatty. 

Off to surgery I go. They ask me AGAIN ... Name, DOB, What are we doing today? I am pretty looped out by now and toyed with playing with them and making something up but I kept it straight. Then I woke up and I get the care instructions while I get dressed and off I go in the wheelchair for my friend Jo to pick me up. Where there were several others getting picked up so there was a line of cars. I had to wait my turn. In the rain. Yes. In the rain. I was thinking this was too funny. 

I had to go to the pharmacy to get some pain killers and they wanted me to come back as they were backed up. I am still in my surgery jacket. No I am not coming back. My friend Jo got them to fill it right away. Can you believe that?

I was just fine and went back to work on Tuesday for 6 hours. I will not do that again. I will take the whole week. Thank goodness my supervisor made me go home at noon each day that week. 

Fast forward to a month later and all was good. They got it all and it wasn't all that bad. But now comes some more craziness. I am referred to radiology for a consult. I go through everything with the resident and doctor and nurse in a very tiny room. The upshot was that it was up to me if I wanted radiation therapy or not. They refused to advise me one way or the other. WHAT?! I pressed them saying I am not educated on this subject and I need their recommendation. Nope they will not give it. It was totally up to me. By this time I have had it. So I chose not to engage their services and thank you but I am going home. If it comes up again then I will deal with it at that time. Seriously if you are not going to advise me then I am going home. And I left. 

FYI - I am glad I didn't but go through with it but 4 years later to the day I have been diagnosed with DCIS again in the same breast but in a different location. I still don't believe if I had had radiation therapy that it would have prevented this occurrence.

So this was the first big thing that happened in 2017. What a story hunh. But there is some really sad things to come in Part 2.